The Best Jokes To Write In Children’s Birthday Cards

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Writing the perfect birthday card can sometimes be harder than getting the right present. At Wicked Uncle, we know exactly how to keep children impressed from the moment they open the card. These side-splitting jokes are so funny, they might even forget about the present altogether!

1. What do you always get on your birthday?

A year older.

2. Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes?

Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

3. How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?

He had a whale of a time.

woman with glasses laughing

4. Why did the man get heartburn after eating birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

5. Which birthday party game do rabbits like most?

Musical hares.

6. Why was the birthday cake so hard?

It was a marble cake.

7. What kind of birthday cake do elves always ask for?

Shortcake.

8. What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles?

No cake for me… I’m stuffed!

9. What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?

A birthday pheasant!

young girl with a cheeky laugh

10. What did the birthday cake say to the ice cream?

You’re cool!

11. What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday?

Hoppy Birthday.

12. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye Matey

13. Why did the girl feel warm on her birthday?

A: Because people kept toasting her.

14. What did the lioness say to her cub on his birthday?

It’s roar birthday.

15. When is a golf ball like a birthday cake?

When it’s being sliced.

16. Where do you find the best birthday presents for cats?

In a cat-alogue.

donald duck falling on the floor in laughter

For more super hilarious joke ideas, head over to our joke factory, packed with endless ideas!

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