Straight-Up Lies We Tell Our Children That They 100% Believe

Raising children is an art form, and parents are the Lieonardo da Vincis of making things up. We’re not saying children are stupid. In fact, here at Wicked Uncle we know that children can be some of the most knowledgeable people on the planet: they can snipe a Fortnite enemy from 250m away, they’ve memorised every Taylor Swift lyric, and they can name all 807 different Pokemon.

But sometimes we adults can get one over on them. Here is a list of the most hilarious lies that parents have told children.

1. Think of all the missed ice creams

If the ice cream van plays music it means he’s run out of ice cream. #LiesYourParentsToldYou

— Jayne Sharp (@Jaynesharp) June 20, 2019

2. White lies

Comment
by from discussion
inAskReddit

3. We feel a bit guilty about this one…

Don't go outside with a wet head you'll get pneumonia #LiesYourParentsToldYou

— Phil Dogg (@Philknowsbest) June 20, 2019

4. Super-Mum!

Comment
byu/macaci from discussion
inAskReddit

5. We’ve all used this one!

If you swallow an apple pip a tree will grow in your stomach.#LiesYourParentsToldYou

— Broadhursts Bookshop (@BroadhurstBooks) June 20, 2019

6. One way to keep them quiet…

Comment
byu/macaci from discussion
inAskReddit

7. May the force be with you

Comment
byu/macaci from discussion
inAskReddit

8. Well, it is still dangerous

#LiesYourParentsToldYou
If you swallow chewing gum, it will stick in a valve in your stomach and you will die.

— Dr Adam Rutherford (@AdamRutherford) June 20, 2019

9. Sometimes we have to guess the science

Comment
byu/iamnos from discussion
infunny

10. How to regulate TV time…

You'll go crosseyed if you sit too close to the TV#LiesYourParentsToldYou

— April Showers (@Jiddy7) June 20, 2019

11. Convincing them that they’re special

Comment
byu/fastworld555 from discussion
inAskReddit

12. Got to keep their hopes up

No, you can't play another round of *insert game*, we're leaving in five minutes.

*proceeds to talk to other parents for up to 2 hours*#LiesYourParentsToldYou

— Jadon Cronin (@JadonCronin) June 30, 2019

My new hobby is eating clocks. It’s rather time-consuming.