It’s finally time to send our nearest and dearest (and the neighbours) Christmas cards – but don’t stop at ‘Glad Tidings’! There’s nothing better than spreading Christmas cheer, and there’s no better way to do it than with festive jokes. So, follow our list of the best jokes for Christmas cards, funny enough to even get a chuckle from Scrooge!
Santa and his little helpers!
Where does Santa go when he’s sick? To the elf center!
Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf-is Presley.
What kind of music do elves like best? Wrap!
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?Because he had a low “elf” esteem!
What do fish sing at Christmas time? Christmas Corals!
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ‘ribbet ribbet’? A Mistle-toad!
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws.
What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?Is it going to rain dear?!
The incredibly silly
How did Scrooge win the football game? The Ghost of Christmas passed.
Did you hear about the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days.
What do you call an old snowman? Water.
What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him? The cold shoulder.
And for something a bit wittier…
How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels!
What does Santa call his little helpers? Subordinate clauses.
I’m writing a unique and personal message in each of my Christmas cards this year. So for you, I’d like to say: Whoever you are, merry Christmas to my friend/family member who is really special.
Where does Father Christmas like to enjoy a mixture of badminton, horse-riding and subtropical swimming? Santa Parcs.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing – it was on the house.
For some cool gifts to go with your hilarious Christmas cards, check out our website!
What do elves post on Social Media? Elf-ies!