Jokes for kids aged 9

Our expert humourologists have determined the most age appropriate jokes for 9 year olds. We have studied their humour and concluded that anything slightly daft or disgusting is hysterical when you're 9. It took a great deal of very complicated scientific research, but here are the best jokes for 9 year olds.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a rap.

Q. What do you call a girl who stands inside goalposts and stops the ball rolling away?

A. Annette.

gifts for 9 year old jokesters...

Plop Trumps - It's the Business!

Top Trumps with a difference - a perfect blend of science and yuck-factor featuring the best ever photos of poo!

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£6.95

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at him.

Q. What do you call a fake noodle?

A. An Impasta.

Q. Waiter! Waiter! This coffee tastes like soil.

A. Yes, sir, it was ground this morning.

Q. What do you call a stag with no eyes?

A. No eye-deer.

gifts for 9 year old jokesters...

Fart - The Explosive Card Game!

Tasteless card game sure to appeal to anyone with that slapstick sense of humour - an Eggy Stinker!

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£6.95

Q. What do you call a stag with no eyes and no legs?

A. Still no eye-deer.

Q. What vegetables do librarians like?

A. Quiet peas.

Q. Why did the scarecrow get a pay rise?

A. Because he was outstanding in his field.

Q. Where do aliens go to get drunk?

A. To a Mars Bar.

gifts for 9 year old jokesters...

HORRIBLE HISTORIES - THE BOARD GAME

Race through history answering questions, a game full of foul facts and jokes, testing your knowledge of our gruesome past.

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£19.95

Q. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

A. He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Q. What do Ninjas eat for lunch?

A. Kung-food.

Q. What do you call a snake on a building site?

A. A boa constructor.

Q. What is the smartest insect?

A. A Spelling Bee.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean, worrying?

A. A nervous wreck.