Jokes for kids aged 9

Our expert humourologists have determined the most age appropriate jokes for 9 year olds. We have studied their humour and concluded that anything slightly daft or disgusting is hysterical when you're 9. It took a great deal of very complicated scientific research, but here are the best jokes for 9 year olds.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a rap.

Q. What do you call a girl who stands inside goalposts and stops the ball rolling away?

A. Annette.

gifts for 9 year old jokesters...

Stinky Pig Game - Pass Him Quickly!

Brilliantly entertaining pass the parcel style game with a funny pig who hums and suddenly farts.

shop now


My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at him.

Q. What do you call a fake noodle?

A. An Impasta.

Q. Waiter! Waiter! This coffee tastes like soil.

A. Yes, sir, it was ground this morning.

Q. What do you call a stag with no eyes?

A. No eye-deer.

gifts for 9 year old jokesters...

Fart - The Explosive Card Game!

Tasteless card game sure to appeal to anyone with that slapstick sense of humour - an Eggy Stinker!

shop now


Q. What do you call a stag with no eyes and no legs?

A. Still no eye-deer.

Q. What vegetables do librarians like?

A. Quiet peas.

Q. Why did the scarecrow get a pay rise?

A. Because he was outstanding in his field.

Q. Where do aliens go to get drunk?

A. To a Mars Bar.

gifts for 9 year old jokesters...

Pindaloo Ball Game - Get in the Loop!

Fun-filled ball game that's simple to learn and is the ultimate skill toy - the new craze!

shop now


Q. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

A. He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Q. What do Ninjas eat for lunch?

A. Kung-food.

Q. What do you call a snake on a building site?

A. A boa constructor.

Q. What is the smartest insect?

A. A Spelling Bee.

gifts for 9 year old jokesters...

Neon Effect Message Frame - Lights Up!

Create your own messages on the glass of this light up neon effect frame then watch it glow!

shop now


Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean, worrying?

A. A nervous wreck.